The Ease of Suicide
by No.Elementary.School.Kid
Summary: NEW MOON SPOILERS! Edwards POV of when he went to the Volturi.


A/N – NEW MOON SPOILERS!!!!! This is a fanfic of when Edward went to the Volturi. I was listening to the song "Pins and Needles" by Billy Talent and thought of it, wondering what he would do. If he seems ooc, it's because I modeled the fanfic after the song. Also, I originally had Alice instead of Rose, so she may be ooc.

Disclaimer – I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. They belong to Stephenie Meyer. I also do not own "Pins and Needles", that is by Billy Talent.

I was sitting on a couch in the hotel we were staying at. I looked at the book in my hands, not really seeing it. My thoughts drifted to Bella. I always asked Alice if she was ok, but Bella's future was disappearing at times. As I sat there musing, Rose came in. 

"Edward, can I tell you something?" she asked.

"What?" I sighed, hating to be interrupted as I mused.

" Alice had a vision of Bella…" she started to say.

"And!' I yelled. I was so anxious to hear what had happened that I forgot that I could have heard it in her mind.

"She was jumping off a cliff. I disappeared after that," she informed me.

My hands shook. I ran to the phone and nearly smashed it as I jabbed Bella's number in. After a few rings, someone picked up.

"Hello?" said a rough voice that wasn't anyone I knew. I knew I had the right number though.

"Where's Charlie?" I asked, desperate. I had to hear that Bella was ok.

"He's at the funeral," the voice replied bluntly. I dropped the phone. My face froze into a mask of shock. As the phone hit the ground, Rose turned to look at me.

"Edward?" she asked warily.

"She's gone," I whispered so quietly she didn't even catch it. As the realization slid over me, a numb feeling spread throughout me. _Don't do it Edward,_ I heard Alice's thoughts ring out clearly in my head. I ignored her and walked slowly toward my car.

"Edward!" I heard her yell, running to me. She grabbed my shoulder, trying to keep me from going to what would eventually be my end. I shrugged off her hand and continued on my way. As I opened the car door, I saw her pleading eyes. I turned away and drove.

After a few hours I decided that if Bella didn't exist, then I wouldn't either. I drove to the closest airport. I quickly made my way to the ticket vendor. After checking their board and seeing a flight to Italy in the next ten minutes, for which I was thankful, I walked to the woman at the desk.

"How may I help you?" she asked, her voice falsely polite.

"One ticket to Italy," I whispered, just loud enough for her to hear. She looked at me with a strange look in her eye, somewhere between sympathy and pity at the sound my voice had. After she handed it to me, I left to the plane. Soon it was airborne. My thoughts free to wander, they turned to Bella. No matter what I thought of, it reminded me of her. Dry sobs shook my frame. The man beside me was the same as the ticket vendor, pitiful and sympathetic. I glared at him and he turned away. I let myself sob the rest of the way there. The plane landed, and I quickly left the airport. A fast looking car caught my eye. I got in and hot wired it. Within no time, I was in Voltera. Seeking out the Volturi, I set out. I eventually found them.

"Why are you here?" one of them asked, though I was paying attention to which one.

"To die," I explained.

"We are not killing innocents," another replied.

"I have nothing left to live for," I begged.

A/N – these are the lyrics to "Pins and Needles" for those who have never heard it. Thanks to for the lyrics. Also, I don't own this song, Billy Talent does.

Never understood how she could,  
Mean so little to so many  
Why does she mean everything to me?

Is it worth the pain, with no one to blame?  
For all of my insecurities  
How did I ever let you go?

Questioning her good intention  
Jealousy's a bad invention  
When you push on glass, it's bound to break

Even when she was defensive,  
It just gave me more incentive  
The more you squeeze, the more it slips away

I never walked so far on a lonely street  
With no-one there for me  
Is it worth the pain, with no one to blame?  
For all of my insecurities  
How did I ever let you go?

Accept this confession! ...I'm walking on pins and needles  
You're not my possession! ...I'm walking on pins and needles  
My conscience is vicious! ...I'm walking on pins and needles  
And I'm begging forgiveness! ...I'm walking on pins and needles

I never walked so far on a lonely street,  
With no one there for me  
It took too long to see her in misery  
And now it's clear to me

That it's worth the pain, always take the blame  
For all your own insecurities  
How did I ever let you go?


End file.
